13.1 Training and Life with Colitis

I FINISHED!

2009-07-02T02:35:00.000-07:00

Despite all my triumphs during this training for a half marathon, I crossed the finish line! It was rough, but I ended up walking most of the race. About a 1/3 or so into the race I met Katie who we teamed up together and started walking, and pushed each other to finish and cross the finish line. Without her Im not sure I could have kept pushing on! This was her first race ever, and she did great!
Thanks for all the support.

Home...sweet...home?

2009-05-27T16:34:00.000-07:00

I am home. Went to the hospital all last week, not to much avail. The docs say the meds are working, and I guess to a point they are, but still feeling very bloated and uncomfortable. I guess its better then running to the bathoroom 20+times a day...but this still hurts.
Today was my first day of really bad stomach pain since I came home on Thursday. Bad pain followed by a run to the bathroom...we have started to taper the prednisone and its almost been a week since we reduced to 50mg, so I hope thats not an issue.
I have gained almost 15lbs, not fun...my face is the 'moonface', I am broken out all over my face, neck and chest, and we are running a half marathon in June, that Im not sure I can even do now. I have no motivation to do anything.
Also in June, while we are in Hawaii, we were going to renew our vows, but now I really dont want to. Im as heavy as I was when we got married, and I was 7mo pregnant then. I look about 6 now.
I just want all this to go away, so I can start feeling better. I guess I should anyway, because Im out of the hospital, and I am not dying...well not right now. I guess we are all dying in some capacity...but you know what I mean.
I just want to have my life back, before all the meds, before all the BM and blood and pain...I just want to be me, will this ever happen? I know, I have to make it happen, but it is really hard when your emotions, and moods are controlled by drugs...
I pray for a cure, for everyone dealing with any type of disease...this is no way to live.

Have to turn the page...

2009-05-13T22:14:00.000-07:00

I have been dwelling on this disease, this thing that I have been told is incurable and there is no cause. I have to turn the page, it is consuming me and probably not helping my friendships since it is the only thing I can manage to talk about these days.
So I am sick, I have this horrible GI issue that keeps me from doing a lot of things, but at the same time I do everything I need to do. I have been kinda ignoring it, just hoping it will go away, but it hasnt and its not, so now I need to be more proactive. School is over, I got 2 A's!!! So now I can finally focus a little more on me. I knew when I started this trek going back to school it wouldn't be easy, and I knew it would add more stress, which I dont need, but I want to finish school and now is the best time. My kids are the perfect ages where I still can effectively study, and when I finish nursing school it will be just in time for my son(oldest) to start Kindergarten which is when I would want to start working again anyway(or shortly thereafter). Who knows, I may find that I want to be a yoga teacher once I finish school, and use the degree to fall back on later...
Anyway, I started taking Fish Oil, Flax Seed Oil, Probiotics, eating more yogart. I am taking all the meds prescribed(trying to be as good as I can). I started a Pilates program tonight, and will continue morning and night(its supposed to help the core muscles?) Not sure if it will help, but its worth a shot. I also am going to start practicing daily meditation. I try to anyway, but allow myself no time to do so. So, I started tonight, and really felt more relaxed. So tommorow am, early rise to pilates, then bike my son to school, then study for one more final, then take my final then have some fun...and pm pilates, meditation.
I have been sitting here, waiting for something to change, waiting for someone to change it for me, but its not happening. It is hard to stay positive, but Im tired of being negative. This prednisone didnt help either, boy I didnt like how I have felt on it. Up, DOWN, UP UP, way down...and oh so irritable and snappy.
I have 2 beautiful, healthy children, and the weather couldn't be better. I have a wonderful loving husband and great friends. All who support and care about me, I guess I just got caught up in me and forgot the rest of the world.
I could be so much worse, so Im trying to focus on the positive. Today was a good day, emotionally speaking. Life is going to get better, I am going to get better. I may even try acupuncture! Anything is worth a shot, now if someone has any good gluten free choc chip cookie recipies, I would love this!
Its harder to make the change then stick with it, so for the next 90 days(I have learned it takes 90 day to make a change) I will be doing this new program. Keep me accountable if you want.
AM pilates/Walk, run or ride
Yoga 2x a week
PM pilates
Meditation...and finally read my Buddha book:)
Needed Dietary changes, no milk, glutens, alcohol:(
Take the time to notice the beautifulness that surrounds me each day. One girl, one boy with eyes as big as the sun!

ER night

2009-05-11T16:46:00.000-07:00

ER run this AM at 3. Constipated, distended, nausea, infection of somesort. Discharged with same pain, still no BM, and ohhhhh just feeling horrible. Have a appt on Friday to discuss next treatment options.
I am making the most of it, have to get through this week for my tests and exams. Thanks for your thoughts and concern :)

UC, Distension, pain, bloating...

2009-05-10T20:09:00.000-07:00

Well, whatever. Im not sure I will be able to run this half marathon in JUNE which is a real bummer.
The past few days have been hell. I ran on Friday, which I shouldnt have, and then I havent been getting enough sleep. I feel very insignificant and unimportant. I want to scream at people when they talk about their 'sicknesses' and how they had some bad gas/bloating or BM's...REALLY? I wonder if I could trade shoes with them for just a minute if they would like to be in mine. OH, so upsetting.
This prednisone isnt doing a thing except making me ANGRY, and IRRITABLE! I havent been able to have a BM for 2 days, and my stomach is so distended I look about 6mo pregnant, but then I always do, so is it new or not? I dont know. I cant sit down comfortable, and that is NEW. It was so hard driving today, 1+hours in the car, and I need a doughnut to sit on, or something. I have taken miralax A LOT and nothing, so here I sit debating whether or not to go to ER, or just bear with it till Tuesday night, and take my tests and finals this week.
Maybe I cant do it all, school, kids, family, life, UC. Something has to give, cant be the later 4, so must be school, which really sucks because I worked so hard for my A's and now I may really get into nursing school and have to give up?
Its not fair, I live my life as a good person, too caring, and loving, trusting and respecting, and I get this f...ing disease that no one can fix? 4 years and no one can fix me? How much longer will I have to feel like this? NO CAUSE? NO CURE?

bad day

2009-05-06T21:09:00.000-07:00

Another one...this prednisone sucks. I cried a lot today, think I will have to be taken off of this prednisone. Its not fair to my children or husband. My moodswings are ridiculous. Oh well, tommorow is another day. Hope relief comes soon...

Prednisone, UC and BLAH!

2009-04-28T05:44:00.000-07:00

Well, its been a little over 1 week on this prednisone and so far nothing has changed. Last night was the worst night I've had in quite a while. Up since 6 am, running to the bathroom each time I felt I had to pass gas...not fun. Now I feel nauseous, my stomach hurts, Im hungry but dont want to eat because Im afraid I will be running all day to the bathroom. I have a huge test today, and need to study, but need to eat. What can I eat? Anyone have a clue? I try eggs, no; cereal, no; toast definately NO; really not sure what I should do.
I emailed my doctor, he wants to give the prednisone 4 weeks to work, Im frusterated because Im still not feeling better. Maybe its just a bump in the road, but last night and today has been the worst I've felt since March when I had my horrible flare, during this chronic flare after my colonoscopy prep.
I hope that this gets better soon, this IBD stuff really sucks!
Oh, and cant run, cause Im afraid I will have an accident while Im running...

TOO MUCH TO DO!

2009-04-26T21:33:00.000-07:00

Well I didn't get any running in this weekend:( I had planned on it yesterday, but I got so busy trying to do 'life' that I ran out of time. Today I had a lovely baby shower for a close friend, and then had time to get to yoga, which was interuppted by my extremly fussy and tired little girl...So then I couldn't likely go on a run at 5pm or both my kids would have slept and then not sleep tonight, but they are finally quiet now at 12:35am, and Im trying to study but not with much luck. Last night I was up till 3, with a sick dog, I have a huge test on Tuesday, which I know I will do well on, but just need to have the uninturuppted time to study!
As for running, I plan on running about 6 miles tommorow, that is my goal, up, breakfast, run, gym for a class, home, study. Maybe go to the park if its still nice out.
As for my UC, my doctor put me on prednisone which well, I haven't seen any difference with my UC issues yet. I have seen a dramatic difference in how I can breathe. My ENT had prescribed prednisone a while ago, but I didnt take it, now I have to, and I can finally breathe effectively! Those of you who know me, will understand, I can effectivly breathe through my nose without needing a tissue all the time! Anyway, we will wait and see what the prednisone brings, so far much irritability, loss of focus, and no noticible changes in my UC. Of course I eat like a pig, so that doesnt help either. Really need to watch the stress eating. I just ate some chips and guac...then 2 chocolate covered pretzles, Im not even hungry, Im tired, but need to study.
How do you change everything that you know, and you like? Well I dont like my weight or my UC problems, but how do you even begin to change 30 years of pattern? I seem to turn towards food when Im upset, stressed, tired, depressed, and its not helping! My weight is staying the same, and Im not happy about this, of course I also look about 4 months pregnant due to the distension in my abdomen.
URGH!!!
Oh well tommorow is a new day, lets hope for the best!

Hard Day

2009-04-13T19:26:00.000-07:00

today was a hard day. All I wanted to do was sleep. I have a test tommorow and a quiz, 2 assignments, a mid term, a egd and colonoscopy thursday, then my sons preschool, my exercise which is lacking right now, fundraising and a muddy buddy costume to get designed. Not to mention I have no hotel for this muddy buddy event yet.
URGH. Im thinking it may be impossible for me to go to nursing school next semester! I will need a nanny, how can I afford that and school and everything else? I wish I was an ostridge, so I could stick my head in the sand till this is all over with! Its too late to drop out of school, and I have all A's right now, but ohhhhh this may just be a dream I cant catch!

Got to the GYM!

2009-04-09T20:54:00.000-07:00

So I decided to hold true to what I wanted to do yesterday. I didnt run, because I was worried about my time, but I did ride my bike, kids in trailer to the gym and back. 8.08 miles, pulling about 100 lbs.
Boy was it a workout, but worth it, saves gas, helped the environment and my kids loved it, except their helmets kept banging into each other. Need to find a better trailer! Anyway, should be ready for Muddy Buddy May 3, hopefully I will be able to run the whole mile between mile rides this time as well! Cant wait, MUD!!!
UC, not too bad today, but really just havent gone...yet. We will see how tonight goes.

Urgh

2009-04-08T21:17:00.000-07:00

I went to a new doctor on Monday, which I really liked, but here we are back at square one, trying to figure out what to do with me. Meanwhile I still have all UC symptoms flaring.
If thats not enough, my husband is travelling for work for the rest of the month, next week I have a test and a midterm. I have quizzes each week, and my son needs to get his adnoids and tonsils out.
Needless to say, Im STRESSED!!! Just finished a hw assignment for my one class, now debating on sleep or taking my quiz so I dont have to rush tommorow. HMMMM....
Got in a great workout today, went to the gym despite being tired, and did a cardio bootcamp. It was awesome. Totally kicked my butt!!! Needed to run, but wasn't up for a run today, need to run tommorow. Maybe get in 5 or so miles. Maybe I will run to the gym and back that should be 8...4 there, workout, swim, then 4 back. Should be good lets see if I can make it happen. What is the weather like tommorow?
Sean is running at Crissy Field...lucky;)
So when will I get relief? Bland food is my new diet, although hard to keep cooking chicken and rice...gets so boring!

Run

2009-04-07T17:27:00.000-07:00

5 miles Friday, 5 miles Saturday! GO, GO, GO!!! Hope this week stays nice!
UC, couldnt be worse, but running IM DETERMINED!

Nothing to eat...

2009-04-01T19:33:00.000-07:00

Have any of you dreaded waking up, because your stomach is so hungry, but you are afraid to eat anything? Goodness, even if you take a sip of water it has you running to the bathroom? Well, this is what I have been going through for the past 2 weeks, with no relief. I'd rather not eat anything, but then I get dizzy from all the blood loss...
Right now Im crazing a milkshake and pizza, 2 things I probably should not eat, but hey I eat healthy and I run, I eat nothing and I run, seems like the toliet and I should be married...I spend more time with it then anything else these days.
Hope I find a doc willing to figure these things out soon! Colonoscopy prep Sunday for Monday to possibly sent home, or should I find a new doc...what are your thoughts?
Love to hear from you!

Oh another thing

2009-03-30T21:25:00.000-07:00

Remind me next time I decide to train for a half marathon, and take 2 classes, and try to be in a 90 day challenge at the gym, and take care of my kids...NOT TO! I cant figure out how to fit everything in, I have 3 assignments and 4 chapters to read and a huge test and my first quiz in my new class on Thursday! What was I thinking, I mean really?
Meditation anyone?

URGH!!!

2009-03-30T21:17:00.000-07:00

Well, since my last post, the week was well, rough. Thats to put it nicely. It seemed that the prep stayed in me for the whole week. I have been miserable, but still pushing on. I finally got back up and to the gym on Wednesday, then on Thursday again! Neither day did I really want to be there, but I did my exercise. Saturday was our team challenge group run at Burke Lake in Fairfax VA. It was cold, wet and raining outside, silly Sean and I went anyway. Yea, even after being so sick, and him having pneumonia! So far, so good health wise. Anyway, Sean had no trouble finishing the 4.6 miles around the lake, but I was coughing so bad I ran for about 18-20 minutes then had to walk most of the rest. Very dissappointing. I allow myself to get easily discouraged, but I know I have been sick, and its going to take at least a week to build myself back up to where I was about 3 weeks ago. Im hoping to get in a 4-5mile run this week, we will see it all depends on the weather. Cant afford to be ill. Sean will be travelling most of this month, so I need to be in tip top shape...if that exists with UC.
Anyway, have a new doc to go to on the 13th, Im not sure I will stay with the previous doc, who was either unable to perform the procedure or didnt want to. Who knows, but I feel a little better today, had a really great dinner and yummy salad! Yeah, didnt bother me tonight!
Look form more posts later in the week, hope Wednesday I get my run in, if its nice!

what a bummer

2009-03-23T16:47:00.000-07:00

I went to have the colonoscopy and endoscopy done today, and much to my surprise...they were unable to do it. Apparently Im unable to be put under by normal means of sedation...who knows what that all means. All I know is that I was ready for this procedure, after the horrible prep, and then they put the medicine into my IV and it didnt work.
All that prep, and vomiting, and diarrhea for nothing! Just to do it all over again in a couple days when I finally get another procedure scheduled...if I can before my school schedule gets too busy.
OH well.

Colonoscopy and Endoscopy prep

2009-03-22T20:10:00.000-07:00

OHHHHHH man...Im sitting here waiting, and praying for the bm to start, so far I have drank almost 3 liters of this crap, and all Im doing is throwing it all up! I finally called the doctor, but she said just to wait and see what happens. I really dont want to have to prep for this again...I just wish they would give the pills still. At least I knew that those worked!

My stomach is in knots, Im completely exhausted, and just want to be able to have these tests done tommorow.

Running...of course!

2009-03-15T18:27:00.000-07:00

Lets see, yesterday we got up and ran 4 miles, not too bad, but not to easy either! My daughter had her first pop-a-squat in the woods on our run. We are potty training, and she had to go! He he, it was funny, but good, everyone should be able to pee in the woods!
Anyway, we had a 5k even today in Baltimore, and it was great, although horribly wet and cold outside. Of course it was a St. Patty's Day race, so there was beer and music afterwards. Which was great, but not for my UC. Im surely paying for it now, hopefully it will ease up here soon. Its horrible when you know something that you did to cause a flare, and you could have prevented it!
Anyway, got a couple miles under my belt this weekend, tommorow is an easy day, no running, maybe just a spinning class, or swim...we will see!

running

2009-03-11T19:19:00.001-07:00

So lets see, I havent written in a few days, have been busy studying for a test. Which I think I did pretty well on. Anyway, got a run in finally today, 2 miles, because I had a time constraint, but tommorow I plan on 4. 4 is my goal for the week.
Anyway, yesterday was a really bad day, I wrote a blog but didnt post it, it wasn't worth posting. I ended up crying to my honey about it and it felt a little better to talk about. Today was better but still so much abdominal discomfort.
Anyway, Sean is kicking butt! Getting his runs in, I think he is at 4 no problem. I probably can do more then 4, its just the treadmill, I really hate it, its so boring! Sunday we have a 5k, so Im looking forward to that, but have heard that it is hilly. We will see Sunday!
till next time...

Updates!

2009-03-08T21:25:00.001-07:00

So Sean and I had our first training run Saturday. I somehow got up at 530am and was a little tired, so didnt run as well as I wanted. We had a 3 mile run. It wasnt so bad, but Im being a little pessimistic about this. Im not believing in myself, but am going to try harder this week to make the 4mile run next week. I also have a 5k on Sunday, I just want to run the whole thing without stopping.
Anyway, as far as UC goes, its been rough. I went to a new doctor and am going to have new tests done in a couple weeks, I cant wait, and Im serious about that. Its a horrible feeling not knowing what you can eat and what makes your stomach look like your 6+months pregnant. Also the pain and nausea has got to stop, I'd rather no stomach, intestines and all the rest, instead of the pain.
So back to running tommorow. Hopefully I get up early enough to get 3 in before my group strength challenge at my gym...

Bad Day

2009-03-03T19:23:00.000-08:00

Well it started last night, just was so nauseous, and it went right on into this morning. Of course, it was interrupted by a late night visit to the ER with my son. Then an early morning call to go to a new doctor, whom I liked a lot just kept me waiting for 2+hours to be seen.
Yeah, I was a little late, 17 minutes to be exact, so yeah it was my fault. Anyway, went to a new doctor and he ordered a bunch of new tests to be done, to confirm the UC diagnosis. He was saying maybe its Crohn's as well, or Celiac disease, who knows. All I know is that I havent eaten anything all day, and whatever I do eat makes me feel sick.
Of course with not eating, I have no energy, so I didnt get a workout in today. Too many stressors plus Im extremely exhausted. So for today, no run. Hopefully tommorow is a better morning.
Thanks for reading!

Monday

2009-03-02T08:33:00.000-08:00

Monday 3/2/09
Good Morning everyone! Hope all had a good weekend! I was so busy this weekend. Took on a project that was so much bigger then I thought it would be, but its almost done now! Thank goodness for that!
Well I went to be and it was snowing, and now I woke up and there is 6+inches on the ground, my gym is currently closed so I dont know if Iwill be able to exercise today. I was really looking forward to getting to the gym, since I haven't been since last Tuesday, so hopefully the power comes back on soon!
Today, I woke up feeling pretty lousy, could have been because I had 2 beers last night, that never helps things. My nausea and abdominal pain today are at a high for the last couple weeks. Hopefully its not smelling all the paint fumes! Just need to get out, maybe I wil take a walk in the snow.
Will keep you updated.

Today is my first Blog!

2009-02-28T11:22:00.001-08:00

Hello Everyone!
This is my first blog. I dont really know where to start. Lets see, first of all let me tell you that I have UC, otherwise known as ulcerative colitis. If you want to know more about this, check out www.ccfa.org or you can check out my webpage at www.active.com/donate/kona09dcvirginia/TeamMacDougall09
Today is a good day, despite being overtired, and super stressed about a project I took on. I am curently remodeling my bathroom, I layed tile, and now am trying to clean the grout lines, boy is this s challenge. I still have to lay the tile on the walls as well. I will post pictures when finished.
Anyway, Im finding the busier I am, the less my mind goes to the UC, or to the pain and discomfort Im usually in. Like I said today is a good day.
Anyway, My husband and I are running a half marathon in June for CCFA(Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America) and that is why Im starting this blog. To keep people updated on me, our training, and everything else that goes into getting ready for a half marathon. So keep updated and check back often!